This is a space for the women in the Moving Mantra Women, Food and Self Image program to share our thoughts and support of each other as we journey together through the program.
I would love to know how everyone is feeling about themselves after participating in the group and journaling for the last several weeks. I feel stronger and weaker. I feel I have more friends but at the same time lonelier. I feel more in touch with my feelings, thoughts and emotions. But having my feelings so close to the surface is tiring. I am happy and I am sad. so I guess I am doing pretty good all in all. You aren't living if you aren't feeling. Everyone give yourself a hug and smile. R.
I have found it very interesting and empowering. I have been finding "pieces of myself" in the exercises. When I started decluttering my closet and bathroom, I found face masks, scented powders, bubble bath--things I had completely forgotten I had used in the past. I pulled them out and have been using them again. Also I found a poem that I wrote when my special needs daughter was 2. When I read the poem I was surprised at how a lot of this can apply to us in this journey, with our inner selves being the gentle spirit in the poem. (A little background on my daughter and what was going on when I wrote this. She has a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 18 or Edward syndrome. We were told at birth that she would not live more than a few weeks, maybe months. Statistically 50% don't live to 3 months, 90% to 1 year, and only 1% to 10 years. Hayley will be 21 in September!) Anyway here is the poem:
A gentle spirit has come into my life; To make me see things I did not want to see, Make me feel things I did not want to feel, Teach me lessons I did not want to learn.
This gentle spirit has hurricane force that picks me up, turns me this way and that, and puts me down softly in a new place, Always a new place. I cannot return to the safe warmth I once knew. It is gone forever.
Because of this fragile gentle spirit, joy and sorrow have become intertwined in a fiber of life that few can comprehend. Because of this sweet gentle spirit, I can appreciate what is often assumed.
Sorry for the long post--I guess it takes awhile to get me talking, then hard to get me to stop.
I appreciate the support I've gotten from this group and having a safe place to work through my issues.
Wow, Jan. That's an amazing poem. Thanks for sharing it. I can see it applies to our journey, too.
To answer the question Rachel asked, I'm feeling so much stronger and more grounded. And have been able to share with my husband some of what's going on with me. It was a start. I've been feeling oddly calm and centered in social situations --the anxiety is dissipating. But, yeah, I'm finding that having the emotions so close to the surface is tiring, too.
I hope we can find a way to continue the sessions -- I'm getting so much out of this group. Janine
I am so moved by what you all share! Jan, it is so good to 'hear' your thoughts and to know you are reconnecting to parts of your self you've forgotten. To learn more of your special needs daughter is an honor and I hope you will share more about how the experience of raising a child against all odds has shaped you. You are amazing and strong and have to much to share and teach the world.
On the subject of feeling both stronger and vulnerable...I want to reassure you all that this is absolutely part of this process of rediscovering yourself. It can be exhausting to delve in to long buried memories, emotions and to look clearly at such things without using food to numb. That is why it is critically important to be very good to yourself, to nurture you spirit in ways that are soul satisfying. Reaching out to one another is part of that, and I am so glad you are. I am committed to continue our work together as long as the group wants and needs to.
I was not sure how I would process the weeks we have been together. I have always journaled but that has taken on a different look and growth in how I journal NOW. I have to comment that I feel some of the same things Rachel does, dealing with the ups and downs. It has been an emotional rollercoaster ride but a ride I where I am doing some things differently. I have embraced and love each one of you because I feel safe and I feel I am not alone working through stuff. Jan, I have thought about you this week and have to say what a wonderful open beautiful woman you are. Your smile can light up a room!!! I wanted to tell Marty with the fun we had with the mirror is she is so elegant in the way she carries herself. I found in my ANGER this week that journaling has brought me to this...things happen the way they are suppose to..my letting go and not stuffing my feelings down had taken me down another road to see things more clearly and to be able to process things that is good for me. And moving forward, to be good to myself is a change from how I would have processed such feelings before now. I look forward to seeing each one of you on Monday! denita
Ladies so wonderful to read what is going on with you this week. First Rachel, my sympathy for the loss of your uncle. Jan you have a beautiful soul and your smile so radiant. The poem is genuine and touching. I find comfort and strength in what everyone shares. I guess I have the same feelings as Rachel and Denita. Break throughs, awareness, tears, and strength. I have shared some things w/ my loved one but not sure if he gets it. I wonder Janine how your husband responded? This week has been a very scary week for me health wise. On Wednesday, something made my blood pressure spike to 200/100. I went to the ER but left feeling like no questions were answered and totally frustrated at my experience. I felt like a number, no compassion from the nurses, little communication and it was just a horrible experience. I've been taking medication for 5 years now for HB and as I shared in the beginning of our group my reason for joining is get healthy. Anyways one good thing I discovered was that I was taking one pill 1x a day instead of 2x. I have not journaled since then, it is like Iam afraid to face my fears. I thought I was doing well loosing weight, excerising and coming to class. My last blood test 3 weeks showed an increase in blood sugar which makes no sense to me. I did find an article on line which said one my medications is a "fat fertilizer" which means you store more fat, burn more sugar, grave more sugar and increase your chance for type II diabetes which is what appears to be happening to me. If any of you have experience w/ BP medication or alternatives please let me know. My brain feels over loaded right now. I also caught a cold that came on in the ER so feeling a bit run down. Looking forward to joyful song at the Kirtan tonight. Love to all my sisters, Donna
I didn't realize how lonely I felt in the marriage. Opening up to my husband allowed him to open up, too. We didn't have a language to talk about some difficult things. And he assured me he wasn't going anywhere.
I told him a story that was representative of how messed up my growing up was. He heard me but also reminded me that there were good things, too. The two sometimes don't co-exist easily for me. So at least now we have a dialog. -- Janine
I just wanted thank each one of you for the last few weeks! They have been amazing! I feel so blessed and enriched to have taken this journey together with each one of you. Cyndi thank you for gently guiding us through many exercises and challenging our belief systems and behaviors. I have learned a lot and would like to pursue more. Unfortunately, I am sad to say that I have to take a break from the group. I am participating in another small group for the next 6 weeks of Lent that meets on Monday Nights. However, I would like to stay connected if that is possible and hope to resume again if you all decide to continue meeting. I have really become much more aware of the choices I make in relationship to my feelings and emotions.Thank you all for creating a very warm, safe and loving environment: it has been very helpful to me that other ladies share the same struggles I have with food, body image, etc! I will miss you, but I would like to please stay in touch! Love, Sandy
Thursday would work for me if that's what we decide. Someone sent me an e-mail this week about a study at Stanford U. The study found that men are better off emotionally if they marry a woman and women are better off if they have girlfriends! I think we could have all told them that and saved them a lot of money, but its good to have verified what we've known for a long time. Alright girlfriends--let's help each other out. I think we are off to a really good start. See you Monday.
First, Thursday works for me also. Rachel you have been on my mind all week..hope you are feeling love from the group..lots of hugs to you..Having close girlfriends who are positive and supportive is Very important to me. Donna, I would love to buddy up to defeat the high blood pressure and diabetes stuff!! See everyone Monday! namaste
Hi Denita I would also like to talk w/ you on the HB/diab. stuff Perhaps in the car to the retreat, or on retreat or when we get back. I appreciate you extra effort on these topics. see you Monday, Donna
I'm just catching up with everyone. There are some beautiful things written in this blog. I am going to keep it and read it again whenever I need inspiration.
I want to continue meeting after our class ends. Thurs works for me
Ok, I am just going to continue on this page/post. From the homework we recd'last week, paying attention is something I try and do more of. It has been hard because it is taking to places I have avoided. I feel myself somewhat ready but very hesitant to just dive in. I dont like the feeling and living of being all messy with stuff. What keeps me going is the chance at true freedom in my soul...I do see that within reach when I never did before. Rachel, hope you are well and we miss you in group. If anyone feels like talking or just going out for tea or just to hang out..my number is 539-4229. Hope everyone has a great weekend.. denita
17 comments:
I would love to know how everyone is feeling about themselves after participating in the group and journaling for the last several weeks.
I feel stronger and weaker. I feel I have more friends but at the same time lonelier. I feel more in touch with my feelings, thoughts and emotions. But having my feelings so close to the surface is tiring. I am happy and I am sad. so I guess I am doing pretty good all in all. You aren't living if you aren't feeling. Everyone give yourself a hug and smile. R.
I have found it very interesting and empowering. I have been finding "pieces of myself" in the exercises. When I started decluttering my closet and bathroom, I found face masks, scented powders, bubble bath--things I had completely forgotten I had used in the past. I pulled them out and have been using them again. Also I found a poem that I wrote when my special needs daughter was 2. When I read the poem I was surprised at how a lot of this can apply to us in this journey, with our inner selves being the gentle spirit in the poem. (A little background on my daughter and what was going on when I wrote this. She has a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 18 or Edward syndrome. We were told at birth that she would not live more than a few weeks, maybe months. Statistically 50% don't live to 3 months, 90% to 1 year, and only 1% to 10 years. Hayley will be 21 in September!) Anyway here is the poem:
A gentle spirit has come into my life;
To make me see things I did not want to see,
Make me feel things I did not want to feel,
Teach me lessons I did not want to learn.
This gentle spirit has hurricane force that picks me up, turns me this way and that, and puts me down softly in a new place,
Always a new place.
I cannot return to the safe warmth I once knew.
It is gone forever.
Because of this fragile gentle spirit, joy and sorrow have become intertwined in a fiber of life that few can comprehend.
Because of this sweet gentle spirit, I can appreciate what is often assumed.
Sorry for the long post--I guess it takes awhile to get me talking, then hard to get me to stop.
I appreciate the support I've gotten from this group and having a safe place to work through my issues.
Wow, Jan. That's an amazing poem. Thanks for sharing it. I can see it applies to our journey, too.
To answer the question Rachel asked, I'm feeling so much stronger and more grounded. And have been able to share with my husband some of what's going on with me. It was a start. I've been feeling oddly calm and centered in social situations --the anxiety is dissipating. But, yeah, I'm finding that having the emotions so close to the surface is tiring, too.
I hope we can find a way to continue the sessions -- I'm getting so much out of this group. Janine
I am so moved by what you all share! Jan, it is so good to 'hear' your thoughts and to know you are reconnecting to parts of your self you've forgotten. To learn more of your special needs daughter is an honor and I hope you will share more about how the experience of raising a child against all odds has shaped you. You are amazing and strong and have to much to share and teach the world.
On the subject of feeling both stronger and vulnerable...I want to reassure you all that this is absolutely part of this process of rediscovering yourself. It can be exhausting to delve in to long buried memories, emotions and to look clearly at such things without using food to numb. That is why it is critically important to be very good to yourself, to nurture you spirit in ways that are soul satisfying. Reaching out to one another is part of that, and I am so glad you are. I am committed to continue our work together as long as the group wants and needs to.
I was not sure how I would process the weeks we have been together. I have always journaled but that has taken on a different look and growth in how I journal NOW. I have to comment that I feel some of the same things Rachel does, dealing with the ups and downs. It has been an emotional rollercoaster ride but a ride I where I am doing some things differently. I have embraced and love each one of you because I feel safe and I feel I am not alone working through stuff. Jan, I have thought about you this week and have to say what a wonderful open beautiful woman you are. Your smile can light up a room!!! I wanted to tell Marty with the fun we had with the mirror is she is so elegant in the way she carries herself. I found in my ANGER this week that journaling has brought me to this...things happen the way they are suppose to..my letting go and not stuffing my feelings down had taken me down another road to see things more clearly and to be able to process things that is good for me. And moving forward, to be good to myself is a change from how I would have processed such feelings before now. I look forward to seeing each one of you on Monday!
denita
donna b
Ladies so wonderful to read what is going on with you this week. First Rachel, my sympathy for the loss of your uncle. Jan you have a beautiful soul and your smile so radiant. The poem is genuine and touching. I find comfort and strength in what everyone shares.
I guess I have the same feelings as Rachel and Denita. Break throughs, awareness, tears, and strength. I have shared some things w/ my loved one but not sure if he gets it. I wonder Janine how your husband responded?
This week has been a very scary week for me health wise. On Wednesday, something made my blood pressure spike to 200/100. I went to the ER but left feeling like no questions were answered and totally frustrated at my experience. I felt like a number, no compassion from the nurses, little communication and it was just a horrible experience. I've been taking medication for 5 years now for HB and as I shared in the beginning of our group my reason for joining is get healthy. Anyways one good thing I discovered was that I was taking one pill 1x a day instead of 2x. I have not journaled since then, it is like Iam afraid to face my fears. I thought I was doing well loosing weight, excerising and coming to class. My last blood test 3 weeks showed an increase in blood sugar which makes no sense to me. I did find an article on line which said one my medications is a "fat fertilizer" which means you store more fat, burn more sugar, grave more sugar and increase your chance for type II diabetes which is what appears to be happening to me. If any of you have experience w/ BP medication or alternatives please let me know. My brain feels over loaded right now. I also caught a cold that came on in the ER so feeling a bit run down.
Looking forward to joyful song at the Kirtan tonight.
Love to all my sisters, Donna
I didn't realize how lonely I felt in the marriage. Opening up to my husband allowed him to open up, too. We didn't have a language to talk about some difficult things. And he assured me he wasn't going anywhere.
I told him a story that was representative of how messed up my growing up was. He heard me but also reminded me that there were good things, too. The two sometimes don't co-exist easily for me. So at least now we have a dialog. -- Janine
I just wanted thank each one of you for the last few weeks! They have been amazing! I feel so blessed and enriched to have taken this journey together with each one of you. Cyndi thank you for gently guiding us through many exercises and challenging our belief systems and behaviors. I have learned a lot and would like to pursue more. Unfortunately, I am sad to say that I have to take a break from the group. I am participating in another small group for the next 6 weeks of Lent that meets on Monday Nights. However, I would like to stay connected if that is possible and hope to resume again if you all decide to continue meeting. I have really become much more aware of the choices I make in relationship to my feelings and emotions.Thank you all for creating a very warm, safe and loving environment: it has been very helpful to me that other ladies share the same struggles I have with food, body image, etc! I will miss you, but I would like to please stay in touch! Love, Sandy
For those of you who might be interested in synesthesia, here's the website--
http://www.synesthete.org/
Janine
My vote is to continue meeting but on Thursdays at Cyndi's. Janine
Thursday would work for me if that's what we decide. Someone sent me an e-mail this week about a study at Stanford U. The study found that men are better off emotionally if they marry a woman and women are better off if they have girlfriends! I think we could have all told them that and saved them a lot of money, but its good to have verified what we've known for a long time. Alright girlfriends--let's help each other out. I think we are off to a really good start. See you Monday.
First, Thursday works for me also. Rachel you have been on my mind all week..hope you are feeling love from the group..lots of hugs to you..Having close girlfriends who are positive and supportive is Very important to me. Donna, I would love to buddy up to defeat the high blood pressure and diabetes stuff!! See everyone Monday! namaste
denita
donna B.
Hi Denita I would also like to talk w/ you on the HB/diab. stuff Perhaps in the car to the retreat, or on retreat or when we get back. I appreciate you extra effort on these topics. see you Monday, Donna
I'm just catching up with everyone. There are some beautiful things written in this blog. I am going to keep it and read it again whenever I need inspiration.
I want to continue meeting after our class ends. Thurs works for me
Where is everyone? And do we still post here or is there going to be another section to write? Just wondering....see you all thursday/tomorrow.
denita
Ok, I am just going to continue on this page/post. From the homework we recd'last week, paying attention is something I try and do more of. It has been hard because it is taking to places I have avoided. I feel myself somewhat ready but very hesitant to just dive in. I dont like the feeling and living of being all messy with stuff. What keeps me going is the chance at true freedom in my soul...I do see that within reach when I never did before. Rachel, hope you are well and we miss you in group. If anyone feels like talking or just going out for tea or just to hang out..my number is 539-4229. Hope everyone has a great weekend..
denita
It's been two weeks and I miss you guys. I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend. Janine
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